"The Millennial Problem" a response

I've Been hearing a lot about "millennials" and how "messed up" they are lately. I've come across a lot of articles and blogs talking about the "millennial problem."  A lot of what I'm hearing is that millennials don't have a good work ethic, they are untrusting, they don’t form lasting relationships, and they are perennially depressed.  I find myself digesting this information from a unique standpoint. Depending on what research firm or data farm you get your information from, I am either an early millennial or a late gen-x'er. Most researchers would say that I am an early millennial. I often feel like I'm teetering between two generations.  So, I can see things from a millennial stand point and a pre-millennial stand point (at least I think I can, hah).  But, upon reading these articles I've noticed something that I find is disturbing, not just with a specific generation, but our culture as a whole. So this blog isn't so much of a "defense" of millennials, but observations that affect all of our society.  So, please take that into consideration when reading.  Here's my response to the "millennial problem."

Thought not related to my main point. 

(This is a tangential thought I had while writing this blog)

I want to start off by saying," have you noticed that those who are identifying and voicing the 'millennial problem' are people of an older generation". And the arguments against this "younger" millennial generation have been used to the point of social cliché. Millennials are entitled, selfish, and aren't willing to work. Skip back a few decades and you'll see articles about the dreaded gen-x'ers. Skip back several decades and you'll see similar articles about the boomers; the infamous "ME" generation. So, all of these gloom and doom articles bemoaning the future of our world once the "millennials" get control sound more like an old man, shaking his finger and saying, "These dad-bern kids today!"  Have you noticed many articles written by millennials about the dreaded "boomer problem?"  Me either. Now, back to my main point.  

The sales pitch 

Here are my thoughts on the greatest hurdle facing millennials and how it has affected us so far. If you look around our country and society you'll notice a common thread that weaves through every aspect of our daily experience; everyone is selling something.  Think about it, we live in a consumer society. The value of a human isn't in what they can produce anymore, but what they can procure. We produce so we can procure. Everything in our society is a sales pitch. We are constantly surrounded by commercials. When I say commercials, I don't just mean 30 sec. blurbs with music underneath .  I'm speaking more generally to alterior motives or hidden agendas.  As I look around my life I can't help but wonder how many hidden agendas I come across each day.  When everything is for sale and when everyone is trying to sell something; everyone becomes a target.  

MEDIA/ENTERTAINMENT

 I'm not going to spend time on the commercials on tv or radio or in apps and all the the other avenues where corporations buy time. That I don't mind because we know we are dealing with a commercial from the get go. It's the sea of subtle product placement that gets me. The "under the radar" plugs and sales pitches in the middle of other content are what wear on us.  But, once again, I expect a certain level of "salesmanship" in television, movies, and music.  The problem isn't necessarily the amount of commercials, but the philosophy they are selling.  It's the philosophy that fulfillment is something that can be purchased.  We have been told that the only way to truly be happy is to have the latest/greatest (insert product here).  So we have been trained to live in constant dis-satisfaction with what we have.  Commercials are even going so far to tell us that having the latest and greatest of a product is not enough, that product has to be better/more expensive than others.  Just look at the car commercials we watched during the holiday season of 2016 where two neighbors would talk about their "holiday finds."  One would be something small, but nevertheless exciting.  The other would show off his/her NEW car.  The first neighbor would immediately begrudge their previously exciting purchase.  But that's just the tip of it.  We are programmed to "need" what we don't have; to need the unobtainable.  We are a collective horse chasing a collective carrot. 

NEWS

Let's talk about areas of our lives where commercials are not expected or welcomed.  How about the news?  Let's get real. The news isn't news anymore. There no such thing as an unbiased news source. No matter what your political leaning, ALL news sources are biased. They are ALL pushing a political agenda. If you don't believe me, pay attention to the pictures they use of prominent figures. If they like them, the picture will be flattering; if they don't, the picture won't be flattering (i.e. shadows under the eyes, a combative look, a bad angle).  Our news segments are editorials wrapped up as news.  It is rare that a news broadcast can be taken at face value.  I find myself saying, "yeah, but they're conservative" or "Yeah, but they're liberal."  

POLITICAL SYSTEM

Beyond the news, our public figures are high paid salesmen. Look at our most current political cycle. It was nothing more than 16 months of info-mercials. The candidates for the highest office in the country fought hard for every vote, and I can't recollect a single earnest moment from either candidate. I could not separate candidate from political agenda-not platform but agenda. Every word was a sound byte. Every moment was a photo opp.   The entire process felt like a giant mis-direction while the "real" forces behind the election pulled the rug over our eyes.  Everything felt "staged."  During the whole process I couldn't help but ask myself, "but what will they REALLY be like once they win the office?"  Everything had a façade to it. We heard the sales pitches and we bought; and now, our country is in the middle of severe buyers remorse.  

EDUCATION SYSTEM

Another complaint I've heard regarding millennials is regarding the work force.  I've often heard millennials expect high pay and high position. They expect to enter into advanced levels of leadership in a company. This has often caused conflict in the workplace. But can we blame millennials for expecting advanced pay and placement right out of college. We just bought into the sales pitch we were sold. Millennials were told from an early age "if you want more money and advanced placement in your career, if you want a leg up in the job market; get a bachelors degree!"  So we did.  We went to college in droves.  Millennials are the most educated of American generations with 50% of us holding a bachelor's degree in some field.  And what happened once we graduated?  1) The advanced placement and pay were not available.  2)  Our college degrees were not nearly as "valuable" as we thought, because everyone else had one.  3) Not only did we not have that "leg up," we were several thousands of dollars in debt from college.  A bachelor's degree is to my generation what a high school diploma was to the boomer generation.  If you don't believe me, pay attention to what higher-education "opportunity" they are selling now - Master's Degree.  You won't hear too many colleges spending advertising capitol on under-graduate degrees.  They are all pushing post-graduate degrees.  It's the new "leg up!"  

Going deeper than societal structures, let's look at the state of modern business and personal relationships.  We live in the world where everyone is learning the "art of the sale."  We've seen the rise of companies like "The Art of Charm."  Which began teaching guys how to pick up girls, but now extends on how to "close the deal" in all aspects of life.  Everyone is studying how to "influence" others around them.  Rhetoric and sales strategies are not bad in themselves, but when our interpersonal reactions are ALL shaded with salesmanship and gamesmanship; everyone becomes everyone else's target.  Don't even get me started on MLM schemes!!!  I've ended so many friendships because I'm personally tired of people exploiting years of openness and trust so they can sell me a health smoothie.  Think about it, the nature of an MLM is the exploitation of personal relationships for monetary gain.  Once again, everyone becomes a target.  This leads us to shy away from honest and open moments with others.  We don't want to give anyone else "ammunition."  We keep things close to the chest, or we open up through less-personal means.  

The Millennial response

SOCIAL MEDIA

Social media would naturally seem like an easy problem facing the millennial generation.  But, considering it is a millennial invention (or at least millennials are the ones driving the medium) I view social media as a millennial response.  Social media is the millennial generation responding in kind to a world where they are constantly being "sold" something.  Social media is all about selling yourself. Millennials have created a platform where everyone can use the language they've heard their entire lives. The language of "the sell."  We sell our lives and how amazing they are.  We sell our looks.  And why not?  We've been told how fulfilled we'll be if we buy (fill in the blank). So why not try try to be the thing that brings fulfillment. Why not be the thing everyone desires to be like. We sell everything about ourselves, hoping the world will buy into the façade we put up.  Here's the crazy part!  We don't buy what we are selling, but we buy what others are selling, thus perpetuating the problem.  We see what others are selling and immediately feeling that we can't measure up.  We feel like our lives are inferior.  And we think "If only I had what they had!  If only I could get this or that!  Then I'd be like that person."  There are a lot of people who look down upon or don't understand social media outlets like instagram or snapchat or twitter.  These outlets are simply millennials responding and communicating to a society in the way we've been taught to communicate-through salesmanship.  

CYNICISM AND LACK OF RELATIONSHIP

When you constantly feel like a target you get very unsure of the world around you. There's a distrust that builds up in your heart.  It's almost like a film that surrounds everything you encounter.  You are much more likely to poke holes into what you are hearing.  Millennials are a very snarky generation.  Our comedy love-language is sarcasm.  I know this frustrates non-millennial. I've seen countless gen-xers and boomers scratch their heads and walk away from a millennial after giving their best motivational speech, because their response is a "I don't give a crap"  shoulder shrug. It's a defense mechanism. Millennials have lived their entire lives surrounded by people whom don't live up to their word.  When you distrust, you don't form deep relationships. You keep people at an arm's length.  If you grew up in a used car lot, surrounded by people giving you the "hard sell" you'd be cynical too. 

But let's be honest. Aren't we all a little cynical. Aren't we all a little weary of looking at our world through side-ways glances…constantly feeling like everyone is trying to get something from you or pull one over on you. I can't blame millennials. Can you?

The myth of "do what you love and never work"

"I don't want to have to work, I just want to get paid for what I love."

- an unnamed Highschool senior 

My profession is to work with students, so naturally my social media feed is filled with millennials and post-millennials which is a great source of entertainment in the areas of politics and world news.  I stumbled upon a tweet from one of my students.  His tweet and my subsequent reply brings me to write this post. 

The exchange went something like this: 

@student: "I just want to travel the world and take beautiful photos…while getting paid"

@me: "hey @student you and every other millennial!"

Now let me begin with a disclaimer. This student's post was meant tongue-in-cheek. This student is an exceptionally responsible student. He will no doubt agree with the thoughts of this blog. But his joke brings up a problem, I feel, with our society. This problem is not relegated to the "dreaded millennial" generation but it affects all of us. We all seem to have bought into the idea of "do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life."  This quote is attributed to Marc Anthony (roman general, not 90's pop-star). I agree with the heart of this quote, which is what I would like to discuss. But the problem lies, not within the quote, but our interpretation of that quote. 

I'll never have to work! 

We've heard this quote in commencement speeches, in movies, in articles, etc. and it has causes us to buy into the idea that there's this magical "key" out there that we'll find and when we find it, we'll love it. Then suddenly, some person or organization will see our love for whatever "it" is and pay us a truck load of money for "it". And obviously fame and fortune and meaning will soon follow the money. All we have to do is wait, hold out hope and someday, "it" all will drop in our laps.  Like a big Bird POO of destiny.  

Unfortunately, what most Americans love the most is freedom; freedom to do what we want, when we want to do it. We all want to be independently wealthy, not having a job. Lets be honest, who wouldn't jump at the chance to never have to work and spend their life in a never-ending vacation. We all want to travel and see beautiful sights. We all want to create and live and love and experience. The problem is society has the pesky need to run. Civilization ticks along. Work needs to be done and people are required to…work.  You don't see too many kids standing up in grade school saying, "when I grow up. I want to do data entry!"  But data entry needs to be done. The same goes for thousands of other professions. So what do we tell our kids or peers, for that matter?  "Hold out for something glamourous.  Something sexy!"  That's ridiculous. 

Writing this blog I'm reminded of another interaction I had with a group of graduating seniors where I asked them what their greatest fear of "adulthood" was. One student replied, "I'm afraid of actually having to work." 

"Understandable," I said. Bills, mortgages, and other responsibilities can be overwhelming."

"That doesn't scare me. My parents will always be there to bail me out.  In fact, my brother is in his 30's with kids and my parents still pay like half his bills."

"Oh,  well then what about work scares you?"

"I just don't want to do it. I want to find a way for someone to pay me to travel and…I don't know, do what I love."

What happens when this student is unleashed on the world?  More to the point, what happens to the student when the world is unleashed on her? How does society function when you have 1/3 to 1/2 of the population not willing to do the functions that are required for that society to…function?  Don't get me wrong, there should be a place for artists, photographers, actors, chefs, writers, and poets. But even within those perspective disciplines there are adversities. There is work. Just look at an author like Stephen King, who is one of the most prolific authors of our age (quantity, not necessarily quality).  His body of work comes from a discipline to write a certain number of pages daily-daily! Even in the most favorable of all professions, work is still work.  Let's get real. How many of us will actually find this magic key and live this kind of life-very few. How many jet-setting photo-journalists are there?  How many 5-star chefs in the south of France are there?  And if we sat down with these chefs and photographers to hear their story, how much heart ache and disappointment would be in them? The reality is, most of us are going to have to forge our way in life. And MOST of us aren't going to grace the covers of magazines or be the source of a big-budget Hollywood biopic. 

Love what you do over doing what you love. 

Where I think we missed Marc Anthony's quote is not in the finding what we love, but in the loving what we find ourselves doing. Anyone who's lived an adult life for any amount of time understands that there's an ebb and flow to things. Life doesn't grow at a 45 degree angle. But if we find joy in whatever it is before us, that leads happiness and success. I doubt the CEO of Roto-Rooter  was high in the list of "when I grow up" dreams.  But whoever it was who founded that company sure found plenty of success doing what others would not. To me the key to having, not only a successful life but a prosperous society are people who see a need to be filled and do so with all their passion. Not every career is glamourous.  Not every job is designed for happiness and joy. But I believe everyone can love ANY job. Some jobs are only meant to resource a family-nothing more and nothing less. But if we are honest with ourselves, shouldn't that be enough.  And I have to honestly believe that a worker in any field (whether working fast food, sanitation, or for a Fortune 500 company) is more productive and valuable worker for it. Thus bringing possible advancement. 

I've had the fortune of working jobs that I loved. Or should I say, worked jobs that were appealing to me. I've also worked jobs that were decidedly un-appealing to me. But I loved them because they met a specific need for a specific time in my life. 

We should never stop dreaming and growing and striving for better jobs or greater opportunities. We can't forget, though, that the best opportunities are made and not found. I think the Bible says something about being faithful

In small things…or something like that. 

 We really start achieving our dreams when we put our passions into whatever task is in front of us at the time. If you are a high school student working a minimum wage job- flip the best burger you can. If you are working a 9-5 job just to provide for your family. Be proud of that.  You are fulfilling your first and most sacred obligation. 

There's something to be said about the old adage, "bloom where you are planted."  That's just my two cents though. 

The Not-So-Savory Secret to being a good recruiter!

I found myself sitting in a leadership discussion surrounding the topic of managing volunteer leaders.

Inevitably, the “elephant” in the room decided to plop down and make himself known into the conversation. 

“How do we recruit leaders?”

That question seemed to hang in the air like a lead blanket. 

As we discussed and listened to each other, a thought entered my mind and being too “humble” I refrained from mentioning it.  So, I thought I would share it via this blog.

The most important and difficult lesson I’ve learned about recruiting leaders is the subtle art of self-promotion.  I know, I know, we hear the phrase “self-promotion” and we gag in our mouths a little bit.  I’m sure every pastor has been in a ministerial gathering and met “that guy.”  The one who makes sure to slap every back in the room.  When you shake his hand you can almost feel the slime dripping off of it. You know…that guy. 

Well, rest assured, I’m not talking about that kind of self-promotion. 

Allow me to speak a difficult truth, No matter what church you are in or what position you hold; NO ONE will EVER be as excited about your ministry as you!

So many of us genuinely want to be humble, but so often that can translate as defeat.  People want to be on a winning team!  People love to be a part of something that’s growing and moving and progressing. 

If you have a student give his life to Christ in your service, tell some one! Tell everyone!  If your church is even close to typical then, chances are, it might be the only conversion they hear about all year.  If services are going well and lives are being touched, don’t be afraid to tell someone - and the first person you tell should be your senior pastor.  He needs to know.  Even if he acts like he doesn’t care, he still needs to know!  Everyone in your ministry can think you are great, but if your Sr. Pastor doesn’t think so…you’ve got problems. 

There’s nothing wrong with letting those around you hear about what God is doing.  Don’t think of it as “self” promotion, but “God” promotion…(I know, super cheesy – right!). 

It’s His Kingdom and His church, but let me be blunt; it’s your ministry.  If your church doesn’t see excitement from you, who will they see if from?  If your students don’t see excitement from you, how can you expect them to be excited and invite their friends?

Remember this, when your church doesn’t hear good news from your ministry, they will infer that there’s nothing good happening. 

It’s okay to be your ministry’s biggest cheer leader!

Color Fight: a DIY

Several weeks ago we did a Color Fight at CYM.  Since then I've gotten quite a few people ask me what we did, how much it cost, etc.  When they found out how easy it was and how little it cost, they got pretty excited and began planning one for their ministry or event. So, in the name of "sharing and sharing alike" I thought I would post this blog about what we did and what work/did not work.  

Leading up to the Color Fight. 

For those who don't know, a Color Fight is simply throwing color powder on each other.  
Our Color Fight was inspired by all of those 5k color-type runs that are so popular.  But we didn't want to deal with the hassle of having to run a 5k. 
In the weeks leading up to our Color Fight we launched team competitions among the students of CYM, thus making the Color Fight the pinnacle of a 6 week push.  

We were going to call the competitions, Tribe Wars, which is a popular branding nowadays...however, living in OKC we decided to stay away from the "tribe" phrasing.  If you've never done a Team Competition, it can be either amazing for your ministry, or it can be very lame and very bad for your ministry.  As far as the logistics of a Team Competition, that's a matter for another blog.  But what I will say is that Team Competitions rises and falls on the team captain.  

The Prep Work

I did a lot of initial internet research on purchasing some color powder.  What I found was that color powder is expensive.  Even the cheapest stuff I found had to be shipped from overseas with high shipping charges.  So, we set out to try to make some of our own powder.  Here's what we did:

1) Researched and found some Color Tempura Paint Powder on Amazon.  I looked for it at various craft stores and could not find any.  So just resign yourself to getting it online.  The powder normally comes in 1 lb. jars.  

2) The next thing we did was buy a bunch of flour.  We got it in 5lb. bags from Walmart. 

3) We mixed in the Tempura Paint Powder with the flour in plastic tubs.  We found that 1 jar of paint powder could mix well with 2 bags of flour.  Now, that's as diluted as you want your paint powder.  You may actually want to mix the powder a little stronger, as to get a richer color. 

4) We put scoops of the powder in small 2 oz. ziplock snack bags.  This allows the fight to last a little bit longer.  Do not set the powder out in the tubs for your fight!  If you do, someone will pick up the whole tub and try to dump it on someone, thus making your fight last all of 30 seconds. 

5) If you want to make the fight last even longer you can buy women's pantyhose and make powder balls by cutting off the legs, putting a soop down the leg, tying a knot right above the powder, tying a second knot, then cutting in between the knots.  Each leg will yield about 6-7 powder balls. 

How much was used. 

We used 1 case of 12 Tempura Paint Powder Jars  and about 120 lbs. of flour.  This was enough for 130 participants.  

Cost

All in all we spent almost $100...Which is pretty good considering it factors out to less than a dollar per participant. 

The Night of the Color Fight 

1) We encouraged all students to wear white that night.  We also encourage students to wear goggles.  

2) As you've probably thought by now, a Color Fight is only going to last your group 15-20 minutes max.  In our planning, we realized we need another game to help fill up time.  So we came up with paint tag.  

     - We split our group into teams (which was easy because of the Team Competitions)

     - We bought craft paint in large tubes

     - We had each player put paint on their hands

     - Each member tried to tag members of the other team during the game

     - At the end of 5 minutes, each team counted up the hand prints on their team members

     - The team with the fewest marks, won

This game ended up being as much of a hit as the Color Fight.  

3) For the Color Fight we placed the boxes of Color Powder at various locations on our property, turned on some music, and let the students get after it.  

Wrap Up

This event was a big win for us and a boost going into summer.  I highly recommend you trying a Color Fight of your own.  If you have any additional questions, leave me a comment and I'll respond. 

Well, this is torture-ific!

Every one gets old.  Trust me on this one!  I've spent 32 years trying to avoid this very thing.  Don't get me wrong, I never get hung up on the numbers.  However, occasionally something happens that reminds you that you are getting older; needing to take a certain medication, ending your New Year's festivities BEFORE Dick Clark's Countdown begins...knowing who Dick Clark even is.  I recceived another reminder that I'm getting older today.  I had my first root canal.

Root Canals are unpleasant.  I know this fact.  I knew this fact as I pulled into the parking lot of the dentist's office.  However, nothing could prepare me for the horror that is the modern root canal.  If you are a dentist, know a dentist, or are related to one please don't take any disrespect.  My beef is not with you-just the sadistic tools you use.  

So, I arrive at my dental destination, on time, and I am shown to my chair.  After a few dozen 2ft. long needles skewer my mouth and come out my ears.  The dentist then proceeds to crack my head open like a giant Pez dispenser and goes to work.  Sparks are flying and smoke is billowing from my mouth.  I only got really concerned when the dentist fired up the chainsaw.  At one point I think they tried to set an office record by seeing how many hands they could cram into my mouth...Quick update, they set the record!  It was then that the thought hit me.  "This feels more like medieval torture than dentistry."  I expected to look up to see a monocled-German interrogator standing over me saying, "Vhere are za plans?"  And here's what's worse; I'm paying for this.  I'm paying GOOD money for this!  How does that happen!  If someone walked up to me in the parking lot of Lowe's and asked, "Can I take this drill I just bought and use it on your teeth?" I'd press charges.  But, put that man in a pair of scrubs and I'm like, "Sure!  In fact let me pay you for this experience!"  Where does that get fun?

Maybe I had a true moment of clarity regarding the short comings of the modern medical industry, or maybe it's just the hydro-condone, but I don't plan on going to the dentist for a while.....

Oh wait, I have another appointment in four weeks!  Ugh, nevermind.

Musings on Peace

I was reading Exodus the other day and a verse slapped me in the face like a cold fish, and it's been marinating ever since.  

Exodus 14:14

"For Moses said to the people, 'Do not be afraid.  Stand still and see the salvation of The Lord which He will perform for you today.  For the Egyptians you see today, you will see no more forever.  For God will fight for you, and you will hold your peace."

That phrase "hold your peace."  What an amazing statement.  So often we hear a statement like, "hold your peace" and immediately think "be quiet" or "zip your lip". In fact, other translations use phrases like "keep quiet." But I think the NKJV really hits the nail on the head with "hold your peace."  In the middle of a near regional catastrophe. God says to the Israelites, "hold you peace". You can also imagine Him saying, "be quiet."  The Israelites were pretty bad grumblers.  But "HOLD" your peace brings a completely different perspective on it.  I think it would help us to view peace as something to hold on to. It's easy to think of peace as something to let rest over us. But blankets that rest are easily blown off. How often in my life have I quickly let go of peace. How often have I thrown peace off in exchange for anger. Peace is something to be held, something to be clung to. "Hold your peace"

Grace Amazing


I've been preparing for a 3 week lesson series starting tomorrow night on Grace.  And every time I stop to think about the Grace of God in my life, I'm amazed at how many people just don't get grace.  We gunk it up with our own preconceived notions.  We do what we do best...mess things up.  I remember sitting in a Youth Ministry Conference two years ago and hearing the very simple yet profound truth that grace is not an idea to be rejected, or a philosophy to be argued, or a suggestion that can be ignored.  Grace is Jesus and Jesus is Grace.  He is the embodiment of God's love, grace, and favor.  Grace walked among us.  Grace lived with us.  Grace experienced every pain, disappointment, and  awkward moment that we face.  It wasn't just a single-solitary act lasting a few days, but a thirty-three exercise in undeserved grace.  For thirty-three years the Divine lived among ants.  Purity lived among disease.  Perfection lived among sin.  


And as I think about that the words echo in my heart "while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."  He gave Himself fully for us, with no assurance that we would return the favor.  With no guarantee that we would even acknowledge Him in our hearts and lives.  Grace is completely one-sided.  He came to me.  He found me.  I bring nothing to the table.  And that is what makes His grace amazing!